peelsa eb rehtar hcum dluow I
Today, in music:
It is that time of the semester again. At Week 8, we are halfway into Year 2 Sem 2, and I have officially run out of essay-writing fuel. Frankly, I am quite done with school and life (have been since I was 14 lol) but for some reason I am still here – alas!!! Yet another cliché holds true: “If you can’t beat them, join them”!!
Essay deadlines, the canteen food, crowded shuttle buses, midterms, the pressure to sound like you know what you are talking about (because “fake it till you make it” right ok sorry I will stop with the clichés), presentations, essays, nerves, a never-ending list of readings, all the waiting (you are always waiting for something; lunch break, a train, a bus, or for deadlines to expire), blank MS Word documents to fill with 2-3k words for an essay assignment, the pretentiousness that I mock but am sometimes guilty of, the small talk that I am likewise guilty of when silences become uncomfortable, feeling intellectually inadequate, finding yourself at the bottom of the aesthetic hierarchy (is this school or is this a congregation of the city-state’s most beautiful people?) and hmm what else did I miss…essays? – I am weary of it all; I go to bed at 11pm only to lie there, toss and turn for 4.5 hours, stare blankly at the ceiling, and listen to things that go bump in the night.
I pray that The Sandman knows mercy and will kindly put me to sleep.